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Loading ...During a recent password audit at our company, it was found that a blonde receptionist was using the following password:
“MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento”
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital!
Loading ...An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road.
The Rabbi says, “Oy vey! What a wreck!”
The priest asks him, “Are you all right, Rabbi?”
The Rabbi responds, “Just a little shaken.”
The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, “Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves.”
The Rabbi takes the flask and drinks it down and says, “Well, what are we going to tell the police?”
“Well,” the priest says, “I don’t know what your aft’ to be tellin’ them. But I’ll be tellin’ them I wasn’t the one drinkin’.”
Loading ...Osama Bin Laden said: China is the world’s only country we absolutely cannot mess with.
The reason is this: al-Qaeda terrorists had made 8 attacks on the Chinese with the following results:
One person was to explode a bomb in Beijing Xizhimen (the main northwest gate of Beijing) but he lost his way in the three-dimensional traffic bridge;
One person in Shanghai was to take a bus to explode a suicide bomb in the bus, but it was so crowded he could not get into a bus even after two hours;
One person was to bomb a supermarket in Wuhan, but found that the bomb’s remote control was stolen;
One person wanted to bomb government buildings in Chengdu, but was stopped at the door by the security staff and arrested as an East Turkistan separatist, and was beaten and interrogated;
One person succeeded in bombing a Hebei mine, with hundreds of people dead and wounded, and then returned to the al-Qaeda center, but even after 6 months, failed to see any news reports of the success of the bombing. al-Qaeda accused him of claiming a false victory and executed him!
One person tried to bomb Guangzhou, but as he came off the train, a motorcycle robber (flying car robber) snatched his bag (containing the bomb) from him;
One person who arrived in Xi’an lost contact, and was later found at the hospital in a state of coma. Doctors said it was the result of him eating not only “black-hearted” food products, but he also drank fake alcohol, and could possibly turn into a “vegetable” (vegetative state);
Later, bin Laden tried to send a female terrorist to blow up Hainan Island, but she was conned into prostitution!
Finally, bin Laden have to say: Remember, China is the world’s only country we absolutely cannot mess with!
Loading ...A married man decided to work late to be with his sexy secretary, so he called his wife to make up an excuse. After work he invited his secretary to dinner. It soon became obvious that he was going to get lucky, so the two went back to her apartment and had great sex for two hours.
Afterward the fellow went to the bathroom to straighten up for the trip home and noticed a huge hickey on his neck. He panicked, wondering what to tell his wife.
After the man unlocked his front door, his dog came bounding to greet him. Aha, the man thought, and promptly fell to the carpet, pretending to fight off the affectionate animal. Holding his neck with one hand, he said, “Honey, look what the dog did to my neck!”
“Hell,” she answered, ripping open her blouse. “Look what he did to my tits!”
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Loading ...A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Johnny what is your problem?” Johnny answered, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!” The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal’s office. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions are explained to him and he agrees to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3×3?” Johnny: “9″
Principal: “What is 6×6?” Johnny: “36″
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, “I think Johnny can go to the third grade,” The teacher says to the principal, “let me ask him some questions?” The principal and Johnny both agree. The teacher asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?”
Johnny, after a moment, “legs”. Teacher: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?” The principal’ eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny replied,” Pockets”. The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I missed the last two questions”.
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